


Shooting Arrows

by SassyCat (sassy_cat)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-01
Updated: 2012-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-31 23:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_cat/pseuds/SassyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For his part in the war, Lucius Malfoy has been sentenced to spend eternity as a cupid. He fights back with the only power that he has left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shooting Arrows

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of a Saturday Special, 24hr challenge on LJ's hh_sugarquill

Lucius suffered for two months before he accepted that his magical imprisonment was both permanent and deliberate. Apparently some wizards felt that his heart was irredeemable, too blackened by dark magic and that the only way for his soul's fate to be improved was by bringing bliss and completion to others for eternity.

He was in Hell; well, he was in a miserable limbo which was what he always imagined Hell would be it. That he should be reduced to wearing such an unsightly, barely-there ensemble was only worsened by the continuous tinkling of harp music that followed him as he flew. 

His sole consolation was that he did get to shoot people with arrows; unfortunately, it only caused harm to their common sense while encouraging a loss of self-respect. Still life's little pleasures shouldn't be dismissed, and he was certain once he'd worked through his anger that he could use his _gift_ to his advantage.

Until then, he had the wonderful pleasure of bringing people love. Oh, joy.

Thank heavens the do-gooders who'd deemed him worthy of such an existence were given to impulsive and poorly-thought punishments; otherwise he wouldn't be smiling his first genuine smile in weeks and planning what would become his greatest scheme to date. 

Some things about his pitiful existence he couldn’t change. He had to meet his monthly love quota as mandated in his blasted cupid contract and he couldn't go against a person's natural nature, meaning that he couldn't force a match, but he could tempt fate and push the envelope of propriety. 

While he'd always been intuitive and gifted in the art of manipulation, he could now see into a person's very soul to know what they truly craved. His job was to find that match and bring them together ... that he had been unwittingly left to discern who that match would be … well, that convenient oversight brought him great satisfaction.

He wondered how many of the do-gooder's lives he could destroy before it dawned on them that they had brought this on themselves and that he was allowed to keep this power over them forever. 

Fluttering his wings with excitement, Lucius twisted his torso into a more comfortable position for sitting and began to make a list. He knew just where to begin his dark comeback.

~

Harry Potter was sitting under a tree at the Burrow with the Weasley chit by his side, both seeming to enjoy the warmth of the midday sun. The engagement of these two had been publicly announced so technically they didn't need his help, but who was he to deny the Saviour of the wizarding world his true match?

Lucius gazed down and looked at the Potter boy with interest and curiosity for the first time. What would this young man want? Lucius' eyes bore deep into Potter's chest searching for his longings and desires. The boy wanted acceptance and love for himself exclusive of his fame. The yearning for family was so strong that it made Lucius wince and long for his own. The man that Potter was becoming needed excitement, creativity, firm muscles … and a flat chest. Well, that was unexpected but useful; pleased with his information, Lucius pulled back.

Turning to Ginny Weasley he could only hope that aside from her obviously incorrect gender that she would be a poor partner choice. Looking deep into the girl, he was shocked by the amount of ambition he found there and all of it being meted out as aggression. What a waste. She was a determined little creature; he could almost respect her now. She longed for wealth and fame but held little interest in being maternal. She wanted a fierce, strong man who'd take her and make her beg for completion.

Shifting his gaze back to Potter, he began to laugh. These two people were encased in such denial that neither had a clue that they were being duped by the other. It was too good to be true and he thought of leaving them to their future misery and disappointment, but his goal wasn't merely to create poor love matches. 

As a Malfoy, he could never be intrigued by something so rudimentary; he intended to destroy the reputations of the so-called light wizards with the only power he had remaining. He was going to gift them, every last one, with what they really wanted and at the most inappropriate times possible. 

Gracefully floating away, Lucius began to plot the next stage of his plan. He needed a famous, potent man for Weasley and a family man for Potter, and he needed them before their upcoming engagement party; Merlin, it was exhilarating to be challenged again.

~

The party was acceptable. Lucius had been to worse; although, it paled in comparison to anything that Narcissa had ever organized. He suspected that Andromeda may have guided the young pair because the soiree was organized and decorated with a subtle grace that had always evaded the Weasley matron, and said matron looked decidedly put upon as everyone gushed over the presentation. It was quite entertaining to watch her slowly continue to redden with discomfort; he idly wondered if her skin would eventually match her hair.

Forced Weasley watching aside, his plan was moving along quite well. Victor Krum had made a last minute decision to attend the party, thanks in part to Lucius' well-placed arrow, while reading about the engagement. Lucius was biding time until he could get Krum alone with the Weasley girl; they were an amazingly perfect fit and he looked forward to both Potter's temporary heartbreak and the shaming of the Weasley family. They'd been functioning above their station in society for far too long.

Just as he was growing bored, he noticed the chit step out onto one of the balconies. This was it. He watched as Krum slowly slipped through the crowd to follow her out. All he needed to do was get out there and fire his arrow into Ginny Weasley's back before someone caught them missing. 

He needed them to discover their passion for each other and he was hopeful that the long suppressed Weasley minx would pounce upon her new prey without thought of the consequences. Floating above the crowd, Lucius managed to slip outside onto the adjoining balcony. 

Taking careful aim, he fired and watched with pleasure as Ginny Weasley's interest in Krum's conversation multiplied. Her body language shifted from polite to inviting and Krum noticing the change increased his attempts at seduction. The pair quickly came together urged on by the chemistry only created by a perfect match.

Lucius couldn't help but take pride in a job well done. He really was good at this matchmaking business. Carefully he fluttered behind them and gently opened the curtained doors to the ballroom. As the doors swung open, he could hear the gasps from inside as guests caught their first glimpses of the bride-to-be in the arms of another man close enough to kiss and gifting him with a besotted look.

Krum and Weasley jumped apart soon enough but not before Potter gained an eyeful of betrayal. Quick with his temper, as always, Potter jumped to unfounded conclusions publicly accusing Miss Weasley of carrying on an illicit long-term affair. Her reaction to his accusations was a sight to behold and one would never guess that she professed to be a lady.

As the pair hastily and loudly ended their association, he watched as the crowd began to split into two sides. Interestingly enough, one Weasley remained behind Potter looking outraged rather than running behind his mother's skirt to rally around their pet Weaslette.

The dragon tamer … or was it hippogriffs? Lucius couldn't recall but it was something dangerous and exciting. Yes, exciting … which was precisely what Potter wanted and wouldn't it be hilarious if the Weasley family had to continue to endure Potter after he publicly embarrassed their precious Ginevra? Lucius smirked as he realized that by pairing the two men that he'd be ensuring discord amongst the Weasley family for a long time. 

Alas, love was blind and his _job_ was to bring love not ponder the possible difficulties that love would bring. Pulling an arrow from his quiver, Lucius quickly released it into Harry Potter just as he turned to face his soon-to-be, new Weasley. Circling the room, he shot another into the backside of Mr Weasley and watched as they gradually realized their repressed attraction for each other. Leaning in he heard them mention Romania and getting away for a while. 

What a lovely idea. After accomplishing so much in one night, he deserved a bit of a break too; perhaps he'd visit Paris and check in on Draco. He was still the boy's father and while he couldn't see him or talk to him, he could still help him find love. Besides he needed to be well rested as Kingsley Shacklebolt's match merited his full attention as well as an inspired choice; after all, a Minister needed a proper wife. Cheerily he wondered what Pansy Parkinson was up to these days. He'd have to pop in and check on her when he got back from France. What a lovely Minister's wife she would make.


End file.
